you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
