What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
