Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
