Dual....:-)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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