The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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