I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
