He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Randomize
