dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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