I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
