White coat. Heels.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
