it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Need sex. Gaining weight.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
