I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
