please come you make the beer taste better
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
