Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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