He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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