alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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