You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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