so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
