she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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