I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
FUCK WHALES
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
