a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
