That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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