I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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