yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
