I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
