She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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