i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
