Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize