The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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