i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
