People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
