At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
