look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
