I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
