i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
