seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
