Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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