hotel room ftw
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
