She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
