sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
