Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
