i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
