I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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