the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
