Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
