He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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