Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
