People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
