you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
