that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
