seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
